Ten Things Learned From Playing Darts

1. Never play for money in a British pub. Most locals in the pubs could make a decent living playing professionally if they sobered up long enough to try.

2. Doing math in your head while inebriated isn't so hard, when you know your outs.

3. Never berate your partner (in blind draw tournaments) however poorly they play. Curse yourself, throw your darts on the floor, but always tell your partner "good job", whether it was or not. They may need that confidence later on in the match.

4. Always rag on a partner that you personally picked to play with you in a challenge match for money. Hell, they must be pretty damn good or you would not have picked them in the first place. If they're playing like shit; tell them!

5. Always be gracious in winning, unless you're playing against a trash talker. Then calmly take their money and buy everyone in the bar a beer with it, except them. When they ask where theirs is, reply: "Losers don't drink with me!" and proceed to dress them down, like they never have been before, in front of the whole bar.

5b. Never talk trash to a trash talker while playing the match. Let your darts do the talking. You can always belittle them when all is said and done (see above).

6. When a stranger enters your local bar looking for a money game; let someone else play them first. Gambling's fun, but knowing the odds and how much to play for always makes for a better bet.

7. If you're tripping over the throw line; you've probably had too much to drink. (Or someone has spiked your drink) Either way it's time to call it a night.

7b. If you are seeing three boards while trying to throw, aim for the middle one. Again, probably time to call it a night.

8. If you've spent more money on beer than you've won playing darts that night; you've probably still had a good night.

8b. If you consistently have the above type of nights, you either need to practice more (get better) or find a new bar where people don't know your abilities.

9. If you want to play for money in a new bar; don't bring your dart wallet (suitcase) in with you. Warm up with house darts. If someone wants to play for some cash, then go to your car and bring out the big guns.... Also, going in bare-handed lets you sit back and size up the local competition without having them know you are a player until it's too late.

10. Always try and have fun. Even if you lose. It's only money. Money never bought anyone happiness. A good time, maybe: but happiness is eternal; good times are just fleeting moments.